i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
