I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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