are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
