i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
