grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
