How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize