and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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