oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
