Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
