we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
