At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
