it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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