I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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