I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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