on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
