So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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