I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
