I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
