i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
