This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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