Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
