allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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