i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
