does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
