you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
