Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
