if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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