guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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