week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
