Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
