Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize