Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
