Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
