I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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