Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
