you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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