You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
