But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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