1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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