.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it glows. i had to have it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
