Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
