god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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