so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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