She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's shark week go big or go home
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My bed smells like the plague
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize