Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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