oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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