Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My life is pants optional.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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