...so i touched it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
