you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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