Just cropdusted the office
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize