that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
