A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
