He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was born a porn star she said
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
