She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
