i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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