ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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