3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
