If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize